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Life's Paradox: To Have Found God and Still Pursue Him
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Christ the Healer

At a very appropriate time in my life, I am studying the subject of “Divine Healing”.  This is once again another Ministerial School paper and has been quite edifying for me.  I have been collecting materials to start this paper and I really should be staring it tonight. Since it is due....

I live under the premise that most of my beliefs can be refined further and with greater understanding.  It would be very ignorant of me to make any assumtion that I understand any subject to its full extent.  Healing is one of those subjects.  With a smile on my face I can say that I have experienced on a personal level “divine healing”. But, does it border on the miraculous?  Have I really experienced healing?  Am I not being healed because of my lack of faith?

Recently I read,”Systematic Theology”, by Thiesing.  Thiesing is a  Dallas Seminary Proffesor.  (wink ;) at some of my friends in Texas)Thiesing shared that it was his opinion that God only used miracles as a last resort.  He would rather use mortal men to get the job done.   Well, when I recently shared this with a friend, he did not agree.  He thought God uses miracles every chance he can.

This leads up to something a friend has asked me recently.  

Matt, 

   Well now here is a personal question for you. Knowing your strong faith and your no shala talk about death...knowing all the healing scriptures...why aren't you seeking a full and complete healing of the disease that tries to inflect the temple of yours that belongs to God?
 
(my response)
My body, the infected temple.    Interesting that you put it that way. I have prayed for complete healing. I know I am covered in prayer regularly and have been blessed to know several people that have prayed for "that" specific healing, to become HIV-. God has said no up until now. I will not cease to pray for complete healing,(an earthly healing) but I am blessed in many other ways that he has chosen to heal me. Emotionally and Spiritually. I would love to be able to glorify Christ with my testimony of complete healing. Having not yet received that gift, I pray that I am able to pass on how it is to suffer, and what it means to suffer well.
 
My wife set the example for me. She never kicked or screamed.  She never questioned God.  She never looked at our three children (ages 6,2 and 1) and cursed anyone for her falling ill. Cindy quietly approached her death with no doubt or fear.  Together we praised God for all he had given us.  Continually the Holy Spirit ministered to our family. 
 
There was definitely never a time when we ceased to pray. We had several churches praying. However, there was a time when God's will became apparant and easily made known, his answer was no.  Cindy left this Earth on a Sunday afternoon. It was a day that found me comforting others and tending to their needs. That day found me following my instincts and doing what I do best.  Putting others first.
 
Well, it is quite apparent up until this point that God does not want to heal me complete here on Earth. But he has readily made available his Spirit to comfort and fill me with great joy. He has opened up and blesses ministry opportunities for me to participate (alongside Him) with others. Would I have that relationship and joy if I were completely healed? What if my life were sugar coated and easy?    I don't know.    I do know that there are times that I forget that I am HIV positive. That is a gift unto itself. It is those times (in my mind) that I am completely healed.
 
I used to take a shower and imagine that God's Spirit was pouring over me and healing me...rinsing away the disease. It was later on that I realized that God's Spirit was constantly washing over me and cleansing me. Making me a worthy temple for him to dwell.
 
So, if my HIV Status never fails to change, I live in faith that Christ has taken all of my infirmities and bares my sickness.  Because of this, when I get promoted from His Kingdom here on Earth, I will inherit a new healthy body for eternity. 
 
God is so good.
 
I hope to include that somewhere in my paper.  I hope I get a grade better than average.................
 
 

Print | posted on Monday, October 11, 2004 8:30 PM

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