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Life's Paradox: To Have Found God and Still Pursue Him
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I really bowled terrible last night.

Yes...

I have been bowling for well over 20 years on and off.  Well...a few weeks ago I joined another league.  An early league on Wednesday night......and I bowled horrible.  Not just any kind of horrible.....the horrible kind that made me look like I never threw ball before.

I threw a lot of gutter balls.  Sometimes three in a row.  I have lots of excuses too...but alas....I was totally off.

I have a papter due next week.  It is a paper on salvation.  Should be interesting to write.  I have all my materials lined up to read.  I just have to get around to reading.  My last paper, which is similar in structure, took quite awhile to put together.  So...I really need to get a jump on this paper. 

I still have to finish my story...

I am very tired...

I feel quite unhealthy.  Taking my meds....but there is a something going on with my body.  Probably not an Aids related issue.  More...Matt you eat all the wrong things, are 100lbs overweight..kind of a thing.

I started my diet several times....and I visit my buddy Michael's website and follow what he has done.  He walks every night.

http://www.michaelmain.com/blog.htm

I need to get there and Just Do It.  Sometimes I just can't....lol..I am too tired.... 

Do I think my weight affects my ministry?  No. Notta.  Buldinky.

I have found that if you step out in the name of Jesus....God will use you to minister...whether you are Hugh Grant, Really Ugly, Really thin, or even overweight.

Any time we have doubt that we are unable to do Kingdom work because of an appearance....well...those doubts or thoughts are fed directly from Satan.

My weight should affect me, yes...low energy etc...but I have faith it does not affect my Kingdom work...  If the Kingdom fails to grow because we are overweight, then God is truly not sovereign, nor does he truly use “anyone” to accomplish his tasks.

I look like Matt Jacopec.   I am called to work for Kingdom growth. To minister and be used by God to impact peoples lives.  I trust that where I go, the Spirit of God is already there, waiting to use me.

It would be nice to be thin and attractive....but God does not need that, he works with what he has.

I could lose some weight for my own personal reasons.  I have asked God to help.  But...he is silent.  so...this is one thing I have to get done...and I have to do it for me.  That is the conclusion I have come to in the end.

I told a person once, if all you see is a fat person when you look at me.....then you really do not see me, nor do you really know me.

What is the error in my thinking?

Print | posted on Thursday, September 16, 2004 7:32 AM

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I've basically been doing nothing to speak of. Such is life. Not that it matters. I've just been staying at home waiting for something to happen.
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Basically nothing seems worth bothering with. I haven't gotten much done these days, but eh. I've just been letting everything wash over me recently. My mind is like a fog. Oh well. I can't be bothered with anything these days.
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Not much noteworthy going on worth mentioning, but that's how it is. Not much on my mind right now. I've just been staying at home not getting anything done.

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